Letting Go
by HeatherStacieA
Summary: Angel watchs Buffy at a church. She is getting married. Warning major angst ahead!


Letting Go~Letting Go~   
Sunnydale Ca, 2005   
He watched her from the darkness corner of the church. It had been difficult for   
him to get in considering the daylight outside, but he had managed to find a   
sewer system that led directly into the church. Although he was in the darkness   
corner, full of shadows from lack of sunlight, he still wore a heavy dark trench   
coat and dark sunglasses. He had read the announcement in the paper the day   
before. "A wedding in Sunnydale, to be held at Brimstone's church, a wish of   
luck to Ms. Buffy Summers, and Jake Conner." his eyes had widened and for a   
moment it was like all the breath had been knocked out of him, until he realized   
he didn't have any breath to lose.   
Buffy Summers was getting married at last. He had watched Jake and Buffy for a   
long while now, almost two years, making sure that Jake treated her right. Jake   
was a really nice guy, if not a little boring. It had been a long time since he   
had seen Buffy this happy and so he would not interfere.   
But he had made that commitment a long time ago, when he had first returned to   
Sunnydale. It had been a cold rainy day when he found himself alone in the   
street, the rain drizzling down from the dark ominous clouds over head. He had   
been confused. Unsure of what exactly was happening. He had woken up on the   
street with no memory of where he had been before. But he remembered her. And   
what she had done to him.   
Not that he blamed her. He remembered how he had treated her. How he had   
terrorized them all. He could not forgive himself, but he could forgive her.   
For a long while he had watched her, making sure she was safe, and didn't need   
any help. But he should have known better, for she was the best of her kind.   
Still he had watched her, unable to turn away the part of him that longed to   
hold her and caress her face, to touch her lips and stoke her hair. But he could   
not, for he knew that interfering in her life at this point in time would be a   
mistake. She had moved on and he would not hold her back from doing so.   
No matter how painful.   
He had been devastated at first. The realization of what he had done hit him   
like a ton of bricks, and he wanted to die. But he couldn't. Not without knowing   
she was safe. Not without making amends for what he had done. And so he had   
watched her from the dark, never touching her.   
His life was like living inside a crystal glass. The purest glass that seemed so   
clear that he could break free, but then he would realize what he was, what he   
did, and was trapped again. He would watch her though, and wish impossible   
things.   
She made a beautiful bride.   
He knew she would though. In white satin and lace, smiling up at her future   
husband he felt a strange twist in his gut. The glass he lived in was like iron   
bars at that moment. He watched the exchange of rings and kisses, and closed his   
eyes for a moment feeling the wetness stain his cheeks. When he opened them he   
saw everyone standing up and applauding the bride and groom. Buffy had a huge   
smile on her face and waved at her friends and family. Everyone had started   
leaving now, following the bride and groom to where the reception would be.   
Angel took a step back melting further in the shadows.   
People were throwing rice and if fell down on the ground like rain. It was time.   
Time to say his final good-bye, and never look back. He knew that Buffy was   
moving to LA with her husband; after Kendra's death the new slayer was taking   
over so Buffy could move on. Away from all the broken pieces left.   
At that moment Angel stopped. He could see Buffy looking in his exact direction.   
He froze. Did she see him? She was looking right where he was. Angel tried to   
blend in a little more, but realized she was turning back to her husband and was   
smiling. He drank in her features, memorizing every detail of her face, her   
eyes, the way her mouth curved into a sweet smile. Her blond hair flowing gently   
around her shoulders. It would be the last time he would see her, and he wanted   
to savor the moment.   
She was leaving. Walking out the door with her mother and father, and new   
husband, heading for the limo that would take her away from him forever. Buffy   
stooped down and picked up a small dress purse, grabbed her husbands arm and   
left, the door of the church closing quietly behind her. His last moment of her,   
his last fill, was her hand as it shut the church door.   
Angel felt his legs shake and he knew he had to sit down. He walked over to   
where Buffy was standing and could still smell her perfume. He inhaled it as he   
began to sit down. It was then he noticed something was on the seat. Angel   
peered closely at the object and froze.   
It was Buffy's cross.   
The one he had given her.   
She knew.   
She had seen him after all. And had said her good-bye's. Closing his eyes   
against the pain and grief he clutched the cross in his hand, feeling the   
burning sensation, and welcoming it. As the smoke drifted up from his hand,   
tears began to fall.   
Buffy was gone, to start her new life. Dropping the cross on the church ground   
Angel turned to leave, what ever Buffy did, he wished her future well.   
The End.   
Comments? Send too AutumnSun@aol.com   
Get me back to Angel of the Night!   
Get me outta here period! 


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